Psalm 23:1-3 KJV
1. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3.He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Restore: To replace; to return; as a person or thing to a former place. To bring back or recover from a former place. To recover from a lapse or ruin to its former state.
Here is how I personally found restoration through God and His word.
I have always wanted to be a mom and raise my own little human. When I found out I was pregnant with Emma-Joy, I was full of emotions and could not wait until she arrived. Nine, long, hard months go by and she finally arrives. I knew from the start, that I wanted to breastfeed. I didn't like the idea of formula, or something else supplying for my baby. So, with that way of thinking, our nursing journey began! We had no complications on attaching, barely any soreness, she ate like a champ. Every 2-3 hours, we nursed. All day, all night. I was exhausted with having a new born, and trying to take care of her and myself. Doctor's appointments began just a couple days after her birth. With that came lactation visits, giving me help on some things to better our nursing times. Fast forward a month or so. Emma-Joy has still not gotten back to birth weight. Our doctor was concerned, and gave us reasons on why this hasn't happened yet. What it all boiled down to, was I was not making enough milk to keep Emma-Joy thriving, the way she needed to, and I needed to start supplementing somehow to help her gain weight. So the doctor said. After a few horrible appointments, that I won't share all the details of, I spent the ride home in the car...crying my eyes out. The feeling I had after that appointment was indescribable. I felt like a worthless mom, who couldn't even take care of her child the way she needed me to. I refused to use formula for my baby. So I did hours, upon hours of research. On ways to up my milk supply. I pumped, (which i found out is impossible for me to get anything while pumping), I was on a strict diet, I ate Cashews endlessly, drank certain drinks, teas, supplements. I was wearing myself thin from researching and stressing out over our situation. Asking anyone and everyone who had any knowledge of this stuff for advice on what to do. Except God. This past July, Zane and I were working a youth camp in Huntington, W.V.. We were given a very nice camper to stay in, since we had a newborn now. With trying to up my supply and rest, all while trying to feed my baby... Emma-Joy and I stayed in the camper all week, except for church services in the evening. My number one priority, was to take care of my child. And I had blocked everyone else out at this point. I didn't want to talk about anything breastfeeding related anymore...nothing I was doing was making a difference. While Zane was out helping kids or doing devotions with the teens, I was in the camper, sitting on the couch with Emma-Joy, crying because my supply was not increasing, no matter what I did. After one cry session, I looked up on the counter and there was a container of formula, that was given to us by the doctor a couple weeks back. It was then I realized that I hadn't been asking God what to do. I had been begging Him to increase my supply and that was it. So I began to pray and ask God what He wanted me to do. I gave up trying my way, I gave up trying to make something happen that wasn't going to happen. And I knew deep down that it wasn't going to increase, no matter what I did. I had let this trial, and stress over all of this get between me and God. I became bitter and angry towards Emma-Joy's doctor. I let this get in the way of me and other people in my life. I was not a fun person to be around, just ask my husband. But seeing that formula sitting on the counter made me realize that God had made a way for Emma-Joy to gain weight. It wasn't the way I wanted, but its what God had planned.
(This list, [picture to the left] is a list I wrote while sitting in the camper crying. It was a way I was trying to lift my spirit and focus on the good in my life, rather than the negative. That last entry was the hardest to write.) After that day in the camper, after giving it all to God, I was at peace with our situation. I was content with where we were and what God wanted us to do. If Emma-Joy needed that formula, I was completely at peace with giving it to her.
Psalm 23:1, talks about contentment. "I shall not want." What I wanted in my situation, was not what I, or Emma-Joy needed.
1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. I believe 100%, that God used this trial to draw me closer to Him, to be content with what God had for my life in this situation. Psalm 23:2 talks about peace. "He maketh me lie down in green pasters", "he leadeth ne beside still waters". God was saying, hey, lie down, relax in me and just breath. Calm down. Once I gave up and sought God's guidance, I was at peace with giving Emma-Joy that formula. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3 I stopped trying to ask people for advice and stopped trying to do it myself. And just focused on God. The week after I surrendered it all to God, we were in Arkansas for two weeks, for two separate camp meetings. A close friend of mine had come to the first one we attended. But before she left her home, she called me and asked me this question. "I have a friend, who makes too much breast milk for her baby to eat. She's going to have to throw it away, because her freezer is too full. Do you want some?" After asking some questions of my own, I said yes! When we started trying to give Emma-Joy bottles of formula, a few days previous, she wouldn't take them. But once we received this breast milk, she took the bottles with no fighting. She nursed off me and had breastmilk in bottles for the entire two weeks we were in Arkansas. I believed God used that, not only as a blessing to us, but a way to transition Emma-Joy to knowing how to use a bottle and begin the formula. I strictly supplemented with it. We nursed as often as we could, and then she finished eating with formula. Within the first couple weeks, Emma-Joy gained the weight she needed, and began thriving very well. Psalm 23:3 talks about God restoring our soul. God had certainly restored my soul through this. Once we started supplementing, my supply continued to decrease. Thoughts of not being able to nurse still popped into my head, but they didn't bother me like they did before. With God by my side, He comforts me when I'm beside those still waters. Yes, I barely have a milk supply anymore. But we still get to nurse for nap time and bed time, every day. This journey didn't go the way I wanted it to, but I still get to nurse my baby, which is what I wanted...just with some help. Through our entire nursing journey, God restored my soul with contentment, guidance, comfort, and peace. All I had to do was give in and listen to the Shepherd's voice and obey. And life becomes so much easier and more enjoyable. How does your soul need restored today?
Follow the voice of the Shepherd.
Thank you for taking the time to read this hard to write, but encouraging lesson. I was given the opportunity to speak at my church's Ladies Conference this November, and this lesson was what I spoke on.