I personally thank God for this virus. Please don't think I'm a heartless human being that is thanking God for thousands of people dying. No, that's not what I'm thanking Him for. I'm thanking God for using COVID-19 in my life to change my life for eternity.
Growing up I heard the gospel message and I knew what it took to be saved. But I wasn't ready.
One afternoon my Dad decided to talk to me about being saved. I don't remember how old I was, but I was really little. All I remember about the conversation is telling him, "Tomorrow, Daddy." He then told me a story about a man that kept telling God "tomorrow" and 'tomorrow' never came for him. That story stuck with me to this day. But that was my answer and I ran with it.
A few years went by and a lady from my church at the time, Diane, took the time and shared her testimony with me and pleaded with me to be saved. I sat in her car with her for a long time and I ignored her until she left me alone. But that also stuck with me.
One day I was playing in the creek next to my house with my Grandpa Vernon, goofing off like we always did. Then Grandpa got serious for a moment. Which he rarely did. He looked at me and said, "Amanda, are you saved?" It scared me when he asked, but I said no and kept playing in the water. "Why not, you need to be. Do you want to be?" He said in reply. And I ignored him. Ignoring people when that subject came up was always the easiest way to get them to stop. And it worked every time, he stopped asking me about it and continued to play in the water with me. But the fact that my Grandpa took the time to ask me about my salvation, stuck with me to this very day.
I heard a sermon on Hell once and how if you die unsaved and go to Hell, you'll remember every time someone witnessed to you. Every time the gospel was shared. Well, I don't know about every single time the gospel was shared with me...but if I had died and went to Hell, those three accounts I just told you would have played in my mind for eternity.
At the age of 17 I made a profession of faith at a revival in Elmira Baptist Church, along with several of my friends. I went to the altar lost and got up confused and wasn't sure if I was saved or not. But I didn't tell anyone. I struggled with it for eleven years. On and off with "I'm saved" and "No I'm not." I was never sure, I just went with it and thought God would one day tell me for sure. But what I didn't realize is He was and I was ignoring it....like I got used to doing.
Then COVID-19 hit.
I was laid off from work, we were quarantined and living in a pandemic with no good news on the television or radio. And my mind would not shut up. I know enough of my bible to know that it looked like the world is ending. The last days. And that terrified me. Unsure of my salvation while going through a pandemic is NOT a fun time. I was scared and it was hard to hide from my family. I know I didn't need to hide it, but as far as they knew, I was already saved. My pride didn't want to let them in.
Once the quarantine started my Dad decided to stop holding in person services at the church and move to live-streaming all services until further notice. So with the church sanctuary empty, besides my Mom, Dad behind the pulpit and me in the sound booth running the live-stream, the church was empty and sad.
April 26th, 2020, Sunday morning service. Dad preached on salvation and asked the congregation (the 60 some viewers we had on Facebook) to pray for the lost soul he felt God sent that message to. Which was clearly me, but Dad didn't know that.
April 26th, 2020 Sunday evening service. Again, Dad preached on salvation and my wall shattered. I sat in the sound booth trying to run the live-stream, sound system and operate everything so the service would keep running for the viewers, all while crying my eyes out silently surrounded by dozens of tissues.
What had happened in that sound booth was a battle. I was fighting everything that God had used Dad to say that morning and evening. But then I gave up...
I couldn't fight anymore. I couldn't live in fear anymore, couldn't live in uncertainty. I needed to know and I needed God. I broke and fell into God with all I had. I asked Him to save me, to become my Saviour, to live with Him in Heaven one day, and so I could live in peace knowing I was saved from Hell.
All my years of fighting, living in fear, worrying, ignoring people and running ended with four words. "Lord, please save me!"
I spent a lot of my years in pride and afraid of what people would think if I wasn't saved. That getting saved was a reason to pick on me... How stupid was I?? I was running from God and trying to hide from reality. But God used COVID-19 to stop my world and get me right where He needed me to listen to Him. God works in many ways and He'll use whatever it takes to get you to realize you need Him.
It doesn't matter how old you are, who's child you are, where you are or what kind of person you are! I am forever changed because Jesus died for me and I accepted Him as my Saviour. Nothing else matters.
I am living in peace knowing that I am God's child. I am living in joy because I have God in my life. I am living without worry about where I'm going once I die. I'm no longer afraid!
If you are in the same place that I was, terrified for your soul and not knowing where you're headed... We can fix that. Contact me or my church and we will be happy to show you how to get it taken care of. It's worth it, I promise. God hadn't given up on me, He hasn't on you either.
Finally His,
Amanda :)